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What was that?" Square root. Let me study, Debby. Please?" Do a logarithm. Let me see what that feels like." C'mon, Debbie..." Whoa! Do that again. Was that a logarithm? Try the square root again. No, do an arctangent." Debbie, I told you, I have a final tomorrow." Do it Johnnie. Do the arctangent. Ooh, boy, can you ever punch numbers. I think I like the logarithm best. Here, see this little button right here? That's my function key. Punch that one a little." Debbie, please. Pull your skirt back down. Somebody might see us." We're in the stacks, Johnnie! People fuck back here all the time." People don't have sex back here. They come here -" They come, all right." - to study." Honestly, Johnnie, I don't see how you can carry a four-oh in mechanical engineering and still be so stupid. We've been here every night for at least six weeks, and nobody's even stuck their head in this little cubicle. We could have fucked hundreds of times by now." Somebody would see us. And stop saying. “Aaron,” Emma said flatly.“Huh?” Jess and I said in unison.“You have both been amazing friends to me and amazingly supportive. And I want both of you to be there for me for my wedding,” Emma said.“Em,” I said, “I am, uh, flattered and all, but you know I’m, like, a guy? I mean, I’m pretty sure you’ve seen, and played with, the proof.”Emma waved off my objection. “So we’ll call it the ‘dude-of-honor’, if you will. I think that’s the twenty-first century term for it. But I’m serious about this. I want both of you involved in every aspect, side by side.”Jess answered for me. “Aaron will do it. How could he ever refuse you?”“But-” I started to object again but Emma cut me off.“Great! That makes me feel so much better, guys!” Emma said, excited and clasping her hands together.“The dude-of-honor,” she said, continuing, “is going to have one additional job as well.” We both waited for her to finish. I dreaded what else I might be in for.“As you are both aware,” she said, “my parents are both.
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